For Women Only: in the workplace by Shaunti Feldhahn

 If you are female and trying to climb that corporate ladder then this may be just the book you need to invest in. Eight years of research and study from author Shaunti Feldhahn has brought about her writing this book.  It is a great book if you truly want to understand you male counterpart in the workplace.  It will help to open your eyes to a men's view of the workplace.  Feldhahn doesn't say the men's view is correct she just lays it out as to what it is a women needs to overcome to get somewhere in a man's world - the work place.  I got this book with the intent of sharing it with my business "college student" - senior daughter.  I think she will and others like her will benefit  from Feldhahn's book. 

About This Book

Do You Know the Unwritten Rules of the Workplace?

As a veteran of Wall Street and Capitol Hill, Shaunti Feldhahn knows that even the most experienced Christian businesswoman can inadvertently sabotage her career simply because she doesn’t know how her male supervisors, colleagues, and employees think.

For Women Only in the Workplace gives you startling insights into the expectations and perceptions of men at work. Whether you work in a corporate setting, a small business, or a ministry, you’ll find Shaunti’s research invaluable as you discover:

· What you need to know about a man’s hidden insecurity
· What “it’s not personal, it’s just business” actually means to men
· How men view emotion in the workplace—and what they consider to be emotion
· How what you wear can significantly hinder your effectiveness at work
· The secrets to being strong and competent—without being viewed as difficult

Based on eight years of intense research, extensive interviews, and national surveys of more than 3,000 men—from CEOs to assistants, from factory workers to lawyers—For Women Only in the Workplace gives you the keys you need to be who you are and be respected and successful wherever you work with men.

Includes a group discussion guide.



Read an except here
Listen to an interview podcast here

Visit for women only web site here.

For more information about this book visit here.

A copy of this book was provided for review by WMPG.

A Woman and Her Workplace by Rosemary Flaaten

Grand Prize giveaway with this post read to the end to find out how to enter.

  Working 9 to 5

Can't We All Just Get Along?

The Working Woman Blog Tour

Workplace Gossip

by Rosemary Flaaten

My coworker loves to gossip about the rest of the staff behind their backs. How do I deal with it

when she wants to unload the dirt on me? What if I’m the subject of her chitchat?

Gossip is a nemesis that runs rampant in workplaces. A tantalizing snippet of information or a morsel of

exaggerated juicy news goes a long way to spice up a humdrum work environment. But, left unchecked, it creates a toxic environment that will suck the health out of workplace relationships.

The effects of gossip can only be felt when they are passed from one coworker to another. When your gossiping coworker starts to share with you the latest bit of ofDice gossip, it is best to simply stop it. Interrupt her monologue and say “I really don’t want to hear this about this person. I don’t want to get drawn into gossip”. You’re not slamming her behavior; you are simply setting boundaries on your involvement. Chances are she will be surprised and may even mutter something like “Well, you’re no fun.” or sarcastically exclaim, “Aren’t you all high and mighty. We’ll give you the Miss Perfect award.”

Unfortunately, you may Dind that your unwillingness to participate in her gossip circle may make you the brunt of her gossip. But, know that doing the right thing is always the best rule. Perhaps your courage to stand up and stop being engaged in the gossip will make a positive impact on the workplace environment.

Jesus had a great deal to say about how to get along with the people in our lives who are our enemies – people who gossip about us and even slander our character. Jesus evidenced for us the value of speaking the truth in love but He went even further to give us relational pointers that will reverse the toxic nature of gossip. C.S. Lewis referred to the topsy‐turvy nature of God’s kingdom and these four points from Luke 6:27‐28 are indeed counter‐cultural:

1. Love your enemies ‐ If loving your coworkers is too high of a hurdle to stride, use the work care instead. Caring for this coworker means that you will not force your convictions on her; you will forgive her for the offensives she has made against you and you will take pleasure in only the truth about her. If this seems impossible – you’re right, it is, on our own. We must open our heart to God and allow His love to Dlow into us so that we can become the conduit of Love to those people who desire evil against us.

2. Do good to those who hate you – Kindness disarms hostility. Find ways to show kindness to her, even while she continues to gossip or slander you. Raise the bar. You have the opportunity to bring kindness and benevolence into the workplace.

3. Bless those who curse you – blessings involves desiring good things to happen to and for others. Blessing is the antithesis of retaliation. When given a chance to say something unkind about someone who has been spreading gossip, choose to Dind something good to say about them. Follow the adage “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

4. Pray for those who mistreat you – As Christ hung on the cross, he prayed for those who had orchestrated his cruciDixion. Praying allows God to transplant our bruised heart with a supple heart that turns our focus to God rather than the mistreatment we have received by the words of others. True heart change will occur when we start praying. 

It is never our responsibility to try to change the gossiping habit of our coworkers. We are simply responsible for our behavior. Deciding that we will not even be a receiver of gossip will break the cycle. Being on the receiving end will necessitate a decision between retaliation and love. Treating our enemies the way we would want to be treated is living out the Golden Rule.

Rosemary Flaaten’s successful book, A Woman and Her Relationships helps women process their outside-ofwork relationships, so now she’s delving into these 9-5 relationships in A Woman and Her Workplace. Her Relationships book won The Word Guild Award, which is Canada's top Christian literary honor. A dynamic speaker—Rosemary challenges women of all professions to view their work as a calling and their workplaces as opportunities to live out Christ’s love. Rosemary lives with her husband and three children in Calgary, Canada.

The author helps the reader learn that working with colleagues as team members is of up most importance in the workplace.  This can prove to be the most challenging aspects of the workplace as well.  In A Woman and Her Workplace, Flaaten explains how to make a healthy work environment with coworkers and how to learn to deal with issues that arise quickly and fairly.  She explains how to build these relationships in a healthy and God pleasing way. Flaaten illustrates throughout her book building workplace relationships with being a civil engineer building a bridge ~ you are designing, building and maintaining.  Love is your main foundation.  Each chapter also looks into the life of Queen Esther in the Bible and how she built relationships for the good; helping the reader to see yourself as a Modern-day Esther~ For such a time as this.  I totally enjoyed this and I'm passing it on to my teenage daughter who is 2nd year Business major/Marketing, Sales and Management.  I believe this will help in her future. I give A Woman and Her Workplace two thumbs-up because I don't have any more thumbs. 

Publisher: Beacon Hill Press
of Kansas City
ISBN-10: 0834125234
ISBN-13: 978-0834125230
Released: September 2010
Paperback: 192 pages
Retail: $14.99

BOOK SUMMARY:
For most people, the workplace is their home-away-from-home. We spend most of our waking hours with coworkers and employers. No blood relation, but yet we must build healthy relationships with them if we hope to excel at our work and enjoy our careers. Just like families, our work families are disturbed by dysfunctional issues. Interactions at work are often anything but ideal, let alone godly.

We find someone to vent about the grumpy boss, that arrogant team member, the lazy coworker who gets by doing nothing, and the undermining woman who makes our lives miserable. Yes, it’s easy to blame them for our workplace woes—but it’s better to look inward at what we have control to change.

A Woman and Her Workplace shows how God can perform a deep heart transformation within us so His love flows through us to the people in our workplaces. By delving into the issues that wreak havoc on our workplace relationships, author Rosemary Flaaten provides readers the help they need to develop and apply strong biblical principles of humility, integrity, forgiveness, grace, and celebration in the workplace.

Through discussing relationships such as boss to staff, woman to man, woman to woman, and teamwork, Rosemary guides women to develop healthy interactions in their workplaces. It makes sense to invest some effort into the relationships where we spend the lion’s share of our waking hours. This book isn’t just for women, though. Men find the book gives them insight into how to make the best of their working relationships with the opposite sex in their offices.

CHAPTERS

1. Building the Relationship Bridge

2. Pride Vanquished by Humility

3. Deception Defeated by Integrity

4. Anger Diffused by Forgiveness

5. Judgment Dissolved by Grace

6. Envy Rejected by Celebration

7. I'm Part of a Team

8. I'm the Boss

9. I'm NOT the Boss

10. I Work with Him

11. I Work with Her

12. Sharing Your Faith

ROSEMARY FLAATEN’S successful book, A Woman and Her Relationships helps women process their outside-of-work relationships, so now she’s delving into these 9-5 relationships. She writes from a fully equipped life-experience toolkit. In it we find her varied work experience, a counseling and educational background, and a deep love for God as well as a passion to help others. Her Relationships book won The Word Guild Award, which is Canada's top Christian literary honor. A dynamic speaker—Rosemary challenges women of all professions to view their work as a calling and their workplaces as opportunities to live out Christ’s love. Rosemary lives with her husband and three children in Calgary, Canada.

Now for the Giveaway.  One person who leaves a comments on my blog will go into the Grand prize drawing held by KCWC tours.

GRAND PRIZE:

Give your desk a facelift

—transform your desk and your relationships!

* An autographed copy of A Woman and Her Workplace

* Hard cover journal

* 40 piece stationary set

* Handbag styled refillable note dispenser

* Photo frame

* Stainless steel travel mug

* Mini stapler, pen, pencil and highlighter

Leave a comment telling me if you have an office job outside of your home?  If so what do you think is the biggest obstacle you face on the job.  If not tell me what your dream job would be.  My drawing will be drawn on Nov. 19th.  Be sure to leave a way of contact. 
One commenter's name will do into KCWC grand drawing to be held on Nov. 22nd

Want more chances to win.  Follow this tour.  

Get the tour schedule here.

A copy of this book was provided for this review by...

Sneakers @ Work

Friday, September 17th

Stilettos and Integrity? How about Sneakers?

By Rosemary Flaaten

By the fifth block I was done. Although my four-inch stilettos made my legs look long and lanky, they also made my previously innocuous little toe scream with pulsating pain. Walking to and from my business luncheon in fancy high heels had been my biggest mistake of the day. Where were my sneakers when I really needed them?

The craze started over 20 years ago when women, following the lead of the Silver Screen, started donning their sneakers in place of stilettos. The wise woman prized comfort over fashion, elevating her “right” to wear sneakers from her front door to her desk without anyone giving a second glance. It didn’t matter how matronly she looked or how disjointed her business appearance, functionality was given prominence.

So why have my sneakers been collecting dust in my front closet while my stilettos need new heels?

As I pondered this question, I realized that my choice between stilettos or sneakers is indicative of a greater question regarding my integrity at my workplace. Sneakers are stable, no nonsense, functional and take-me-as-I-am footwear. Stilettos are representative of my desire to fit the business mold and improve my appearance. In essence, I hope to portray a version of myself that looks better than reality. Likewise, how often are the choices I make around telling the truth or shading the truth based on my desire to fit in, to make myself look better or to prop up my lagging competency?

It has become socially acceptable to fudge the truth (even just ever so slightly) in order to increase our likeability. Robert Feldman, in his book The Liar in Your Life, quoted a study indicating that the average person lies three times every ten minutes in a conversation. The intention of these lies is not to manipulate. Rather, people lie so that they come across more interesting, likable and desirable. Sounds a little like stilettos.

Our propensity to shade or embellish the truth has strong ramifications in our workplace. When the boss calls to see if we’ve done the big project and we respond “Yep, just about” when we know that we’re only about 25% finished, we may find ourselves in a situation where we must continue to shade the truth in order to save our skin. One lie is seldom enough. When (not if) our untruthfulness is discovered, we will have a much more difficult task rebuilding the eroded trust.

If deception is telling and living a life of lies, then living honest is conveying truth no matter the consequences. Living honestly means we live authentically; but integrity takes this a step further. Unlike children who lie to get themselves out of sticky situations, integrity calls out greatness and gives evidence of maturity. In the workplace, we start with honesty, add authenticity, and then our character culminates with integrity.

In defense of all stiletto-loving working women, please don’t interpret my use of this metaphor to suggest that stilettos are wrong and sneakers are better. Rather, on this “sneakers at work" day, may it be a reminder that being a person of integrity will always be better than trying to make yourself look better. In the long run, sneakers will take you further than stilettos. Not just my feet will attest to that truth!

ROSEMARY FLAATEN’S successful book, A Woman and Her Relationships won The Word Guild Award, which is Canada's top Christian literary honor. Now she writes A Woman and Her Workplace to help women process their 9-5 relationships. A dynamic speaker—Rosemary challenges women of all professions to view their work as a calling and their workplaces as opportunities to live out Christ’s love. Rosemary lives with her husband and three children in Calgary, Canada.

Paperback: 192 pages

Retail: $14.99

Publisher: Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City

Released: September 1, 2010

ISBN-10: 0834125234

ISBN-13: 978-0834125230