Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Teaser Tuesday ~ Dear Sparkle

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, f hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along, so I thought I would play for un! Just do the following:
  • Grab your current read
  • Open to a random page
  • Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
  • BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
  • Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!
Today I'm going to give you an excerpt from the book for my teaser.  I will be hosting this book tour on Thursday and Friday with a giveaway.  Be sure to come back for my review on this book and a chance to win a copy of this book later this week. 

Dear Sparkle,
This human brought me home from the local rescue, so I’m still getting used to things around here. Some of it’s nice—great cat food and a cool cat tree that’s taller than my new human. But there are other things I’m not so sure about, like the ongoing debate my human and I have been having over the couch. For some unknown reason, she wants me to stay off it, but it’s the best perch in the house! It catches the afternoon sun just right, and it’s an even more comfortable place to nap than the cat tree is. I hate to tell my human, but I ain’t giving it up! So how to I make her stop shooing me away every time I try to settle down for a nice, sunny nap?
Couch Potato Dear C. Potato,
When it comes to getting something we really want, we cats will always outlast humans. Trust me, that couch is all yours. But you already know that. You’re going to keep jumping up on it until your human lets you be. It’s a process, and there’s really no way to shorten the time frame. Just keep on doing what you’re doing. Eventually the nagging will stop.
Don’t let this inevitability lure you into complacency, however. Your human will pull a few surprises, but there are always “work-arounds.” If she thinks you will shed on the couch, she might toss a throw over it. This could be a good thing. Throws are comfy, and they also indicate that you’ve won the battle, as long as you lie on them, not the bare couch. If your human worries that you will sharpen your claws on the couch, she may use “Sticky Paws,” a two-sided tape that feels gross under our paws. Don’t step on it! At least not until you’ve rubbed all over it and covered up the stickiness with your fur. Then the Sticky Paws tape will smell like you and let the world know the couch is yours.
As for direct confrontations with your human (her yelling, that dreaded spray bottle, etc.), just do most of your couch sitting when she isn’t home, but let her catch you often enough to make her realize that the couch is your territory.
Dear Sparkle,
When my human brought me home, she decided to call me Max, which I thought was a fairly decent name. I even come when I hear her say it (usually that means she has some food for me). But now that we’ve been living together for a few months, she has started to call me some wacky versions of my name—Maxie-Boy, Maxie-Baxie, Mad Max, and the worst, Maxie-Boo-Boo-Baby. It’s disgusting, not to mention undignified. I am MAX, M-A-X, no “Boo,” no “Baby,” and I’m only “Mad” Max when she starts messing with my name! How can I keep her from mangling my perfectly decent name?
Just Max
Dear Max,
Silly kitty! The answer to your problem is obvious. Every time your human starts mangling your name, make yourself scarce. Only show up when she uses your proper name. You do have to be consistent about this. The big mistake cats make is responding to a nickname at dinnertime or when their humans are being nice to them. Doing this only encourages them to keep using it. If you want to be called Max, then only respond to Max. When your human uses one of those other, unsatisfactory names, walk away, no matter how tempting it is to stick around and be petted, and no matter how hungry you are. Yes, you may have to miss out on a few dinners while your human wanders around your home, calling out, “Maxie-Boo-Boo-Baby, where are yooouuuu?” but unless you want that as your permanent name, you’d better stay hunkered down in the closet or in the darkest part of the guest room. The penchant for hideous nicknames is almost an addiction with humans, and they even do it to each other. You need to make it 100 percent clear that you don’t play that game, or you’ll be stuck in a never-ending version of it.



Unknown said...

That was hilarious! Thanks for sharing!!

My teaser this week is from Sweet Surrender, Baby Surprise by Kate Carlisle.

By the way - I love the snowy background!

Tribute Books Mama said...

here's mine http://tributebooksmama.blogspot.com/2011/01/teaser-tuesday-high-spirits-tale-of.html

BLHmistress said...

LOL I might have to come back for the giveaway on this, now its making my wonder what my cat thinks or wants to complain about lol.

My Teaser Tuesday